We are nearing the end of our annual 21 day fast for our church Living Truth Fellowship and I have to say that this has been a different fast for me. I have found that the more I fast, with the intention of drawing closer to God in anticipation of the return of Jesus, the more I feel like I am distant. I know it may very well be a dry place in my life, and as I learned last night, sometimes the dry place is from God. What does he want from me or what is he trying to pull or remove from me?
In the end I realize that it isn\’t a struggle or some deep seeded sin that I have possessed and/or held on to. No, its more than that…IT IS ME! God is wanting to remove the ME in me that desires to be in control and \”handle\” things for him. I have come to the conclusion that there are areas of control I keep hold of, that can limit the potential within me to be a great man of faith and vision. There are areas within me that I hold on to that limit just how free I am to worship God! Its these limitations that God wants to remove.
John the Baptist said it so eloquently, when responding to the fact that people were coming to Jesus for baptism rather than John, \”He must increase and I must decrease\”. In other words that part of him that desired to have the best numbers of baptisms, to elevate the position of forerunner, to be seen by all and admired or even hated (even if he wore animal skins and ate locust and wild honey for his daily dietary need) had to be killed off. John saw the bigger picture…less of ME means Kingdom expansion, it would mean sin finally defeated, it would mean restoration with the God of the universe. Less of me didn\’t mean a loss of John\’s name, but rather an elevation of the name that is above every name…the name of Jesus.
I want to have great faith, and experience visions and dreams. I want to lead with vision and passion and conviction. I want to worship with the reckless abandon that I have always talked about, but have been afraid to step into. In order for that to happen, I have to die. The Jesus in me must gain the victory over the ME in me. He must increase by ME being decreased to the point of near non-existence.
When you really think about it, Jesus had to do the same thing. He is and was FULLY God and FULLY human. The ME in his humanity had to be defeated in order for the God that is in him to be revealed! He had to make a choice just like we all do. There He is in the garden, working things out by prayer and having to confront his very own ME. He gained the victory by total submission to the plan of God that was and is at work. THIS IS WHAT I MUST DO! THIS IS WHAT WE ALL MUST DO!